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Once I was sitting at a table in a bar and one of my buddies had a bit too much to
drink so he excused him self to go to the washroom. He only made it as far as the
next table and puked on the girl he had been secretly eyeballing all night.
She jumped up and screamed you puked on me and he said no I didn't it was just
heavy spit.
She screamed what the F difference does that make and he said well I would never puke on you - I love you.
The funny part is after she came out of the washroom from washing the puke off her dress my buddy apologized - she bought him a cup of coffee and they got married about 6 months later. Cheers!
Next-So graduation parties are still full throttle in my little hometown and after a series of boring family parties, my friend Bruce decides to have a huge rager in this place called the Dunes; a sandy cove by the river in our town. My friend Don and I pregame a little with some bacardi shots and sam adams before heading over, and im already a little buzzed by the time i get there. There were kegs everywhere, just stuck in the sand with dozens of people already drunk out of their minds and getting even more to drink.
After a few more drinks, I wander into a crowd of friends who decide to use the rope swing that swings out of the river from a 15-foot cliff. Don and I chug half a handle each of smirnoff (bad decision) and headed over. After this, my memory goes completely blank save for a few moments. I remember banging my ex-girlfriend Kitty in the woods not too far from the party and people stopping what they were doing to listen to us. I remember seeing two hot lesbian chicks, Coral and Zoey, using a double-sided dildo and going to town on a sandbar in the river. And, most of all, I remember going of the rope swing and forgetting when to jump off, then realizing i should’ve already jumped when it was too late to and smashing my knees, shoulder, and face into the rocks, scraping the shit out of 25% of my body (luckily, im pretty sure this happened after i banged my ex).
I woke up the next afternoon on a canoe on the other side of the river about 100 yards down from the party, still bleeding slightly from my face and knees. There was vomit on my chest and the floor of the canoe, and i was in only my boxers. Nobody could fill in the rest of the night’s events for me, because no one remembers enough of what happened. And i never did find my clothes
drink so he excused him self to go to the washroom. He only made it as far as the
next table and puked on the girl he had been secretly eyeballing all night.
She jumped up and screamed you puked on me and he said no I didn't it was just
heavy spit.
She screamed what the F difference does that make and he said well I would never puke on you - I love you.
The funny part is after she came out of the washroom from washing the puke off her dress my buddy apologized - she bought him a cup of coffee and they got married about 6 months later. Cheers!
Next-So graduation parties are still full throttle in my little hometown and after a series of boring family parties, my friend Bruce decides to have a huge rager in this place called the Dunes; a sandy cove by the river in our town. My friend Don and I pregame a little with some bacardi shots and sam adams before heading over, and im already a little buzzed by the time i get there. There were kegs everywhere, just stuck in the sand with dozens of people already drunk out of their minds and getting even more to drink.
After a few more drinks, I wander into a crowd of friends who decide to use the rope swing that swings out of the river from a 15-foot cliff. Don and I chug half a handle each of smirnoff (bad decision) and headed over. After this, my memory goes completely blank save for a few moments. I remember banging my ex-girlfriend Kitty in the woods not too far from the party and people stopping what they were doing to listen to us. I remember seeing two hot lesbian chicks, Coral and Zoey, using a double-sided dildo and going to town on a sandbar in the river. And, most of all, I remember going of the rope swing and forgetting when to jump off, then realizing i should’ve already jumped when it was too late to and smashing my knees, shoulder, and face into the rocks, scraping the shit out of 25% of my body (luckily, im pretty sure this happened after i banged my ex).
I woke up the next afternoon on a canoe on the other side of the river about 100 yards down from the party, still bleeding slightly from my face and knees. There was vomit on my chest and the floor of the canoe, and i was in only my boxers. Nobody could fill in the rest of the night’s events for me, because no one remembers enough of what happened. And i never did find my clothes
